Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Price of Crude Oil Falls on News Of Successful West Potomac Elections


Wall Street breathed a collective sigh of relief this morning after news coming out of West Potomac indicated successful elections there. No violence was reported immediately after the results were announced, nor at the inauguration at Hamilton's.

Tensions rose after President Robb Stout postponed planned elections this past Saturday. The President claimed that practice ran late, however international monitors suspected that his decision may have been a ploy to retain power. In the four uneasy days that followed, traders feared a disruption in crude supplies resulting from an armed coup, similar to the failed "Red August" coup just a few short weeks ago.

The breakthrough came late Tuesday night. In an unprecedented move, President Stout declined the nomination for Captain. Immediately thereafter his Protégé, Dave "Bible" Gedeon was nominated and ushered into office. For the past several years, President Stout has held the offices of both President and Captain in a constitutional monarchy that has seen West Potomac achieve its highest success in ten years. Bible will have to face many challenges in his first year in office, including calls that his election violates the separation of church and state. Confidence runs high among the members of West Potomac that Bible will continue to be a strong leader on the field and at practice.

Lastly, the cabinet was chosen featuring Brian "Sunshine" Lapato elected as Back Selector President Stout consolidating his power as Forward Selector.

7 comments:

West Potomac Rugby said...

Interesting development, are we now obliged to call Bible "Skip?"

Koz said...

I suppose that as Captain, Bible has a right to the title "Skip." This would require some getting used too. Even after Bible was elected several people referred to Robb as Skip and (I think it was ben) led a "3 cheers for the Skip," referring to Robb.

We should clear up this semantic conundrum quickly. I am supportive of bestowing the nomen "Skip" on Bible. I asked the internet for some similar words we can use. Some of the options are: Commander, chief, boss, commodore, O-6, maitre d', overlord, headmaster, foreman, and centurion.

My vote is for either "Skip" or "Maitre d'." Talk amongst yourselves.

Grant said...

I am supportive of an "Obama/Bible" ticket...anyone else?

If not, then I vote for "foreman".

Bible said...

No title is necessary, although I do like the idea of Headmaster. It has a certain 80s teen comedy feel to it.

West Potomac Rugby said...

Speaking as one of the more senior members of the team (and a Past Captain) I can't recall any other West Pot Captain ever being referred to as "Skip." At this point I would say "Skip" is as much a nickname for Sideshow as it is a title.

Bible is his own man and should allow any kind of Captaincy honorific to develop organically. If Captain doesn't have enough flavor for Bible, then I would vote for "maitre d'" or (given Bible's political leanings) "overlord."

Dain said...

I'm gong for Chief...

Koz said...

I second KJ and nominate the honorific "Colonel Mustard" for our new Captain.